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LOS ANGELES—No amount of high-voltage jolts from a defibrillator were enough to bring to life ABC’s attempt at debuting a Christian Bachelor show. Twenty-nine year old doctor from Tennessee, Tyler Johnson, was left standing with an armful of roses when ABC pulled the plug.

“There was no doubt that Tyler was attractive in every respect. He was tall, blonde, blue eyes, and buff. He was a doctor. Hailed from the Bible belt of our great nation. His father was a minister and he even went on several international missions trips including a trip to build wells for thirsty children in Africa. And at the age of 29, he was still a virgin claiming he was ‘waiting for marriage.’ We could hear Christian girls all over the nation utter a massive ‘awwwwwww’ while clutching a hand over their hearts and we knew we struck Christian gold when we found…