THE 4 WORST VALENTINE’S DAY CARDS FOR SINGLE CHRISTIANS EVER CREATED

Happy Valentine’s Day everybody!

E and I are at it again. This time we decided to create the most awkward Valentine’s Day cards for single Christians ever.

We think we succeeded.

Enjoy. Share. Laugh. Love!

– m & e

love is patient 3

ruth 3

chickfila FINAL

minion 3

Check out our last photo shoot if you want to continue laughing (at us).

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14 REASONS WHY IT’S GREAT TO BE SINGLE

It’s February 14.

You know what that means:

It means we should be celebrating our singleness!

Instead of lamenting what day February 14 is, let’s look at 14 reasons why it’s great to be single!

1. Forget what everyone else is doing: you can do your own thang. (Whenever, wherever.)

kid on skateboard

2. You make up your own food pyramid for dinner.

my thoughts on salad

3. There’s plenty of time to spend with your girlfriends.

i love you bridesmaids

4. Being able to sleep through the night without any interruptions.

bert and ernie

5. You can focus on pursuing your passions.

writing cat

6. Shaving your legs is not necessary.

thats prickly

7. You can pick up and go anywhere without any strings attached.

fly

8. Because all your eHarmony matches look like this guy:

creepy clown

9. You can keep your apartment just the way you like it.

this-is-my-kitchen

10. You don’t have to spilt your holidays with anyone but your own family.

modern fam christmas color

11.  You can bless others by serving them with your time, gifts, and resources.

you is kind

12. The television remote is all yours.

watching tv

13. You know nothing is wrong with you. You are confident in who God created you to be. And you aren’t afraid to show it.

dance

14. Because you have an unprecedented amount of time to be fully devoted to God right here, right now.

cherish it

Singleness is the new black

G:

Like the president of Russia deeming the Olympic ceremonies open, I deem singleness the new black.

Cue torch:

olympic torch

Because let’s face it: singleness is like glitter at a crafts table.

It’s everywhere.

Now more than ever, people are getting married later in life. Now more than ever, articles about singleness are spreading like the bubonic plague. Now more than ever, singleness isn’t a curse. It’s OK.

And dare I say it, it’s COOL.

Sure, there are a host of reasons why our culture is seeing a plethora of singles: couples are already cohabitating, marriage isn’t viewed as necessary anymore, college grads are crippled by student loans, etc. But there are a host of different reasons You love singleness: we have unprecedented amounts of time to serve You in ways you created us uniquely for right now.

While our culture may view singleness as cool in their own eyes, I see singleness as cool from Your eyes.

I’m sensing a Paul revival a la 1 Corinthians 7:34-35 in light of 7:8:

Singleness: it’s all good.

Your happily single child,

m

ON ANATOMICALLY INCORRECT HEARTS

heart (1)

G:

Well, it’s February.

Which means that M&Ms are now pink and red. And sugar cookies have received (limited edition) anatomically incorrect heart donations.

But here’s the thing: those darn heart shapes are like an epidemic—they’re everywhere. And everyone’s contaminated.

But the contamination of consumerism isn’t all that alarms me. And it’s not even those giant stuffed bears that have come out of hibernation for $40. It’s the fact that love has lost its meaning. Love has become so overly simplified and cheapened.

Just like the shape of the heart.

Love has come to mean butterflies and sparks and fireworks. One night stands. Lust. Celebrity marriages that don’t even last a month.

But the heart is more than just a circle resting on a golf tee wishing he were a camel (just go with it*). The heart is complex, there are valves and chambers and lots of things I don’t remember from health class in middle school.

And isn’t love so much more intricate and meaningful than sparks and chocolate? Doesn’t love come in many forms? Eros. Philos. Agape. It comes in the form of a husband and wife. It finds itself between friends. It pours unconditionally from You.

Isn’t love more than just a fleeting feeling? Isn’t it a choice? It’s selfless, sacrificial, and ditto everything that Paul said (1 Corinthians 13).

But I get it—Pillsbury would never do well with a sugar cookie with an anatomically correct heart inside it. It would be horrifying looking and confusing and the kids would cry because they don’t understand why their cookie is so ugly and moms all over the world would have to appease their kids’ shrieks and tears by covering the cookie up with pink frosting. I get it. I do.

But wouldn’t it be nice if we celebrated where love comes from and what it really means in all its forms? Wouldn’t it be great if we were all contagious with a love that meant something? A love that wasn’t cheap. A love that wasn’t dummied down like the heart into a simple shape.

The heart is more than a simple clip-art image. And love is so much more than one day in February.

Your child,

m

* Because I’m not sure you got it:

anatomy of a heart

** On second thought, never mind.

WHEN PEOPLE ASK YOU WHY YOU ARE STILL NBSB (NO BOYFRIEND SINCE BIRTH)

backstreet

Which is the same as NBSB (No Backstreet Boys) because you are still waiting for Justin Timberlake to knock on your door and say:

justin

#NSYNCversusBackstreetBoys

Based off J’s #christiangirlproblem: “Seriously, NBSB?! (No Boyfriend Since Birth) (why, is it a mortal sin?)”

Thanks for sharing, J (http://jirahlization.wordpress.com/)!

HOW I DON’T WANT TO SOUND DURING A GIRLS’ NIGHT DISCUSSION ON PREMARITAL SEX

shut up judge judy

Without a touch of:

judge judy

Sharing your beliefs without judgement. #dontbejudgejudy

Based off Allison’s #christiangirlproblem: “Feeling like you’re the only one who believes in waiting for sex until after marriage at girls night…how to not sound like Judge Judy.”

Thanks for sharing, Allison!

WHEN YOU’RE DATING A GUY AND HE TRIES TO GET YOU TO DO SOMETHING YOU DON’T WANT TO DO

oh hello to the no

And then you’re like:

get out

And when he doesn’t listen:

punching shark layered

If you bop a shark on the nose and it swims away, it must also work on human males.

Based off Laura’s #christiangirlproblem: “Feeling pressured by men to do something you don’t want to do because of your beliefs. This is a big big big one!”

Thanks for sharing, Laura (http://scribblesandwanderlust.wordpress.com/)!

Conversations that carry a lot of wait

my-life-is-buffering

G:

I feel like you and I have had three very distinct conversations over my lifetime.

There’s the “Hello, can you hear me now?” conversation:

m: “Hey God, it’s me. m.”

[Silence]

m: “Hey God, not sure if you heard me the first time. It’s me, m!”

[Silence]

m: “Are we having a bad connection? Perhaps you’re on the prayer line with another person right now? Maybe I should pray back later?”

[Silence]

m: “OK—just humor me. Send me a sign that I will have a new job by June. Have my favorite song come on the radio. Or a knock on my apartment door. Have my phone ring… now!”

[Silence]

m: “I just realized my phone was on silent. Let’s try this again… and GO!”

[Silence]

And the “Is the neon blinking light not obvious enough” conversation:

m: “So, I’ve been thinking…”

G: “Just wait.”

m: “But I have this great idea!”

G: “Just wait.”

m: “But if I—”

G: “Just wait.”

m: “But how long do I have to wait?!”

G: “Just wait.”

m: “Have you seen the white hairs popping up on my head?! Do I need to start asking for a walker for my birthday? Some orthopedic shoes? Dentures?!”

G: “Just wait.”

m: “GUYS DO NOT MAKE OUT WITH GIRLS WHO HAVE DENTURES!”

G: “Just wait.”

m: “Okay, listen. Have you seen what happens to me when it’s 6:00 PM and I haven’t had any dinner yet and my blood sugar is low and so is my patience? Hm?”

G: “Have you read any of the Old Testament?”

m: “Touché.”

And then sometimes there’s the “I hear what you’re saying and I’m actually OK with it” conversation:

m: “Sup, G!”

G: “Yo, lil’ m.”

m: “I’ve been thinking. I have a few ideas of what this next year will look like. Writing wise. Job wise. Church wise.”

G: “Don’t make any plans. Mine are better.”

m: “You know what, you are probably right.”

G: “I’m always right. Foresight 20/20.”

m: “Right eye -7.5 and left eye -6.5. Hindsight 20/20.”

G: “Which is why you need me—you are almost legally blind.”

m: (sings) “’Twas blind but now I see!!”

[Silence]

m: “G?”

G: “You’ll sing better when you get to heaven.”

M: “OK, so the plan is to just wait and let you lead me where you want me to go.”

G: “That’s the plan.”

m: “Jeremiah 29:11!”

G: “Thanks, I know– helped Jeremiah write it. Divine inspiration.”

Today, I’m happy with you just telling me to wait.

Your child,

m

A shout out to all my single ladies!

thank you phil

A special thank you to all the ladies who shared their #christiangirlproblems on my post “Attention, all you single christian ladies!”

As a special shout out, I will be featuring one of your #christiangirlproblems on my blog throughout the week!

So stay tuned! And thanks for sharing in this great stage of life together!

– m

PS. If you haven’t had a chance to comment on the post yet– it’s not too late! I’d love to hear your #christiangirlproblems!