Without a touch of:
Sharing your beliefs without judgement. #dontbejudgejudy
Based off Allison’s #christiangirlproblem: “Feeling like you’re the only one who believes in waiting for sex until after marriage at girls night…how to not sound like Judge Judy.”
Thanks for sharing, Allison!
When your friend stumbles upon a photo like this:
The logical next step is to recreate it.
Welcome to m and e’s “Man wanted. Not married.” photo shoot!
A special thanks to one of my bestest, e! 🙂
Based off Emily’s #christiangirlproblem: “When cute clothes aren’t modest. Total drag.”
Thanks for sharing, Emily (http://4and1and3.wordpress.com/)!
And then you’re like:
And when he doesn’t listen:
If you bop a shark on the nose and it swims away, it must also work on human males.
Based off Laura’s #christiangirlproblem: “Feeling pressured by men to do something you don’t want to do because of your beliefs. This is a big big big one!”
Thanks for sharing, Laura (http://scribblesandwanderlust.wordpress.com/)!
G:
I feel like you and I have had three very distinct conversations over my lifetime.
There’s the “Hello, can you hear me now?” conversation:
m: “Hey God, it’s me. m.”
[Silence]
m: “Hey God, not sure if you heard me the first time. It’s me, m!”
[Silence]
m: “Are we having a bad connection? Perhaps you’re on the prayer line with another person right now? Maybe I should pray back later?”
[Silence]
m: “OK—just humor me. Send me a sign that I will have a new job by June. Have my favorite song come on the radio. Or a knock on my apartment door. Have my phone ring… now!”
[Silence]
m: “I just realized my phone was on silent. Let’s try this again… and GO!”
[Silence]
And the “Is the neon blinking light not obvious enough” conversation:
m: “So, I’ve been thinking…”
G: “Just wait.”
m: “But I have this great idea!”
G: “Just wait.”
m: “But if I—”
G: “Just wait.”
m: “But how long do I have to wait?!”
G: “Just wait.”
m: “Have you seen the white hairs popping up on my head?! Do I need to start asking for a walker for my birthday? Some orthopedic shoes? Dentures?!”
G: “Just wait.”
m: “GUYS DO NOT MAKE OUT WITH GIRLS WHO HAVE DENTURES!”
G: “Just wait.”
m: “Okay, listen. Have you seen what happens to me when it’s 6:00 PM and I haven’t had any dinner yet and my blood sugar is low and so is my patience? Hm?”
G: “Have you read any of the Old Testament?”
m: “Touché.”
And then sometimes there’s the “I hear what you’re saying and I’m actually OK with it” conversation:
m: “Sup, G!”
G: “Yo, lil’ m.”
m: “I’ve been thinking. I have a few ideas of what this next year will look like. Writing wise. Job wise. Church wise.”
G: “Don’t make any plans. Mine are better.”
m: “You know what, you are probably right.”
G: “I’m always right. Foresight 20/20.”
m: “Right eye -7.5 and left eye -6.5. Hindsight 20/20.”
G: “Which is why you need me—you are almost legally blind.”
m: (sings) “’Twas blind but now I see!!”
[Silence]
m: “G?”
G: “You’ll sing better when you get to heaven.”
M: “OK, so the plan is to just wait and let you lead me where you want me to go.”
G: “That’s the plan.”
m: “Jeremiah 29:11!”
G: “Thanks, I know– helped Jeremiah write it. Divine inspiration.”
Today, I’m happy with you just telling me to wait.
Your child,
m
A special thank you to all the ladies who shared their #christiangirlproblems on my post “Attention, all you single christian ladies!”
As a special shout out, I will be featuring one of your #christiangirlproblems on my blog throughout the week!
So stay tuned! And thanks for sharing in this great stage of life together!
– m
PS. If you haven’t had a chance to comment on the post yet– it’s not too late! I’d love to hear your #christiangirlproblems!
ESTROGEN ALERT: Sorry fellas, you can just glaze over this post and check back tomorrow. 😉
If you happen to be in possession of two X chromosomes, you know there are a lot of great things that come with being a girl.
But alas, life as a girl is not without its host of problems. Especially if you are of the single Christian girl variety.
And problems seem to always go better with a hashtag in front of them.
So ladies, I’d love to know:
This blog has taught me a lot of things, including a refresher course in geography. I’m super blessed and excited that I have devoted followers from all over the world—a special shout out to my peeps in Switzerland, the Philippines, Canada, Australia, and the UK (just to name a few!).
And I want to hear from all of you!
Whether it’s an awkward encounter with an ex in the Alps or your problem always ends in: “eh?” I want to hear it in the comments section below! Let’s share the fun, awkward, exciting, embarrassing, ridiculous, weird, and unique problems to being in this stage of life together!
Submit your TOP THREE #christiangirlproblems in the comments section of this post with the format:
#1
#2
#3
FIRST NAME:
COUNTRY:
Looking forward to sharing our #christiangirlproblems!
-m
DIE DEMONS DIE ALREADY!!
G:
If you were an admissions counselor, I would be automatically denied because I failed to post this letter on my usual time on my usual day.
Reason for denial: can’t make deadlines.
If you were an admissions counselor, I’d call your office and you’d answer:
G: “Hello this is Heaven’s Office of Admissions, this is God. How can I help you?”
m: “Hi. My name is m. I can’t tell you how excited I am to be talking to you right now. I’ve wanted nothing more than to go to Heaven since I was a little kid. I have heavenly paraphernalia plastered all over my room, I’m the owner of at least 5 WWJD bracelets, and I have a Jesus fish on my bumper sticker. I’m a diehard Heaven Christians fan!”
G: “Did you just use ‘Christians’ as a mascot?”
m: “Yes. No. Maybe. Yes.”
G: “When would you be looking to start?”
m: “Well, as much as I know I should want to start any time, I’d be okay with pushing it off until it’s the right time to go.”
G: “We do run on a rolling admissions basis.”
m: “Great!”
G: “For those who qualify.”
m: “Oh.”
G: “What’s your GPA?”
m: “Um…”
G: “Our baseline is a 4.0.”
[Silence]
G: “Hello? Are you still there?”
m: “Yes, sorry. I just stopped breathing for a second.”
G: “Well don’t do that just yet. We haven’t finished the application process yet.”
m: “Do you make exceptions on a case by case basis at all?”
G: “I’m pulling up your transcripts now and I see you got a D in gym class.”
m: “My sneakers didn’t fit right. My big toe was popping out of the top. It affected my kickball skills.”
G: “You failed home economics.”
m: “The oven temperature was clearly off. And you honestly couldn’t even taste the plastic wrapper in the cake. It melted away because of the excessive heat.”
G: “I’m afraid that given your academic history, you wouldn’t be able to handle the demands of this institution.”
m: “But what if I sent you some references?”
G: “Your mother doesn’t count.”
m: “But!”
G: “I’m just checking my e-mail now and I see you sent me your statement of purpose already:
Hell God,
I’m sexting you my statement of porpoises.
m
Sent from my iPhone”
m: “OH NO!”
G: “Oh yes.”
m: “@#$% auto correct!”
G: “You just swore.”
m: “Oh @#$#@%. I just swore on the phone with God. And @#$% I just did it again.”
G: “I’d like to thank you for your call and for your interest, but I’m afraid we can’t accept you at this time. I do wish you the best in your future endeavors.”
m: “But where else is there?”
G: “The only other option is a program far, far south. I hope you like hot weather.”
m: “BUT!”
[click]
Thankfully this is not how you roll. Getting into Heaven is actually easier than getting into Harvard.
Thankfully you are NOT an admissions counselor. And if you were, you would be the worst admissions counselor ever—you let anybody in who believes in your Son.
And you do have unbeatable retention rates.
Your child,
– m
meghanmellinger.com 