THE SINGLE GIRL’S STICK FIGURE FAMILY BUMPER STICKERS

There are a lot of things I’ve seen people stick on their cars. Antlers. Pink handlebar moustaches. Menorahs.

But the stick figure family bumper sticker has infected more cars than the Toyota recall of yesteryear.

stick figure

So what do you do if you are a single girl sans stick companions to slap on your car’s rear window?

 

For the single girl who has everything she will ever need:

girl and nutella 2

me myself i 2

me and jesus 2

girl netflix 2 copy

 

 

For the single and searching girl:

single and searching 2

 

 

For the single girl who has given up all hope:

cat lady 2

You’re welcome, ladies. You’re welcome.

-m

UPDATE: I’m not dead.

To everyone who follows my blog:

While my blog may have flatlined this past month, my heart has not.

hurt yourself

Don’t get too excited now.

So where have I been these last few weeks?

boo boo time by myself

AKA: watching a lot of Netflix.

watching tv

(I’m pretty sure the devil suggested making the next episode automatically start after 10 seconds.)

While I needed a relaxation hiatus, I’m still working on some important writing…

writing

I’m crafting a book proposal to make this blog into a book!

So I’m still here, I’m still alive, and I’m still writing.

And I’d love to keep hearing from you– and especially what you would like to read in a My Letters to G book!

And most importantly… thanks for reading and waiting patiently for my return.

Forever grateful,

m

Is it time to break up with a friend?

friend

Sometimes I wish BuzzFeed quizzes told me more than what font I am (Futura) or how many Justin Biebers I could take in a fight (14).

While taking on 14 teen pop sensations in skinny jeans during a fight seems overly ambitious (I would probably be more comfortable with 12), sometimes I wish making relevant-to-life decisions was as simple as answering a few questions online in a few clicks. Especially when it comes to ending relationships.

And I’m not just talking about roses are red, violets are blue kind of relationships. I’m talking about the platonic kind: friendships.

Before you do another Facebook purge or delete another contact in your smart phone, take this quiz:

READ THE REST ON CONVERGE MAGAZINE!

AN OPEN LETTER TO PEETA MELLARK

(Because Catching Fire just came out on DVD)

Like food poisoning, my love for you came on suddenly and without forewarning.

There I was sitting in a crowded theatre of tween girls and I found myself squealing in decibels I’ve only believed to be in a gerbil’s register.

My mind quickly replayed Catching Fire staring me, in a side braid and cargo pants:

(I’m practicing my archery skills in the backyard on some soda cans I’ve lined up on a fence. I  shoot. Miss. Hit a stray cat that happens to be walking by. It shrieks, dies. My depth perception and prescription are clearly far worse than Katniss’. YOU appear.)

 YOU: It’s almost time to go. The lady with the hair the color of cotton candy is here. Her dress is made out of butterflies.

(You stare out into the woods to avoid eye contact. I notice you are carrying a bag of freshly baked cookies.)

ME AS KATNISS: I love a man that brings me baked goods.

(You continue to avoid eye contact. I clear my throat, put down my bow, walk over to you.)

ME AS KATNISS: We’re going to have to continue to act like we’re in love.

(You turn, look at me. I can see in your eyes that you weren’t pretending the first time and are hurt that you thought I was.)

ME AS KATNISS: But I won’t be acting anymore.

PEETA: But what about that other guy who is actually significantly taller than me and used to date Miley Cyrus?

ME AT KATNISS: I want to be the hummus to your Peeta.

(You give me a cookie. I eat it. You look at me. I look at you. My insides melt like a popsicle in the Sahara. Then we run away and start an underground bakery in another district.)

You should know—surely you must know—I would never, ever, date anyone shorter than me.

But yet here you are, 5’6 and I’m 5’10 and we’ll make it work.

As long as you keep bringing me baked goods WE’LL MAKE IT WORK.

cookies me volunteer

Until the next movie comes out and/or I finally read the third book to figure out what finally happens to you,

m

PS. I may or may not have a torrid relationship history with fictional characters.