Singleness is not an excuse for selfishness

singleness

As I move into the last year of my twenties, even the thought of owning a houseplant still seems like too much of a tie-me-down commitment. As a single, I want my life to be my own.

And I must confess: I love it that way. In fact, I love it too much.

Read more at Converge Magazine.

10 lessons I’m still learning in my 20s

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At 28, the only thing I’m sure about is that I’ve stopped growing — in inches that is. As I reflect upon my near three decades on this earth, I’ve realized I’ve forgotten a lot, learned a little, and am still discovering even more.

In a culture where our 20s have become the be-all-end-all decade of our lives, we’ve become more obsessed with being there than getting there. And while I may have plateaued at 5’10 in kindergarten, God’s not done with me yet.

Here are 10 lessons I’m still learning in my 20s.

4 skills social media kills

social skills

Life as a resident assistant at a Christian college would have been a lot easier if I could have texted my female resident, “I know there’s a guy in your room after visitation hours.” It would have saved me a lot of hassle from knocking on her door, coaxing a confession out of her, and then weaseling my way into her room to find him hiding in the closet behind her laundry basket. Then again, I would have never learned how to confront situations and resolve conflict well. In a culture where we have more screen time than face time, we’re more worried about cultivating the art of showcasing our dinner than the art of our interpersonal skills. As a result, our social media outlets are killing four major social skills.

READ THE REST ON CONVERGE MAGAZINE!

Is it time to break up with a friend?

friend

Sometimes I wish BuzzFeed quizzes told me more than what font I am (Futura) or how many Justin Biebers I could take in a fight (14).

While taking on 14 teen pop sensations in skinny jeans during a fight seems overly ambitious (I would probably be more comfortable with 12), sometimes I wish making relevant-to-life decisions was as simple as answering a few questions online in a few clicks. Especially when it comes to ending relationships.

And I’m not just talking about roses are red, violets are blue kind of relationships. I’m talking about the platonic kind: friendships.

Before you do another Facebook purge or delete another contact in your smart phone, take this quiz:

READ THE REST ON CONVERGE MAGAZINE!

AN OPEN LETTER TO ANYONE ASKING WHY I’M STILL SINGLE THIS CHRISTMAS

Very excited that Converge Magazine picked up this post! Check it out here.

I’d like for everyone to take a moment and look at my left ring finger.

Yes. It is naked.

I’m going to stop you right there, like you’re a telemarketer trying to sell me a lifetime supply of gold to hoard in my non-existent safe:

I’m good, thanks.

In an effort to save energy on both our parts, I’ve taken the liberty of compiling the most frequently asked questions with my responses. (Laminated for durability given the undetermined amount of multi-year usage.)

1.       Have you met any nice gentlemen recently?

Three weeks ago, I ordered something online through Amazon’s two day shipping. I received a knock on my apartment door, and I opened it. Before me was a FedEx man in a brown uniform holding a brown box. He handed the box to me, smiled, and said, “Have a nice day.”

2.     Why don’t you try online dating?

Someone once told me kidney stones were as painful as childbirth. When compared to online dating, kidney stones sound like a combination of winning the lottery, going to Disney World, and frolicking in a meadow full of daises and labradoodles. While eating an ice cream cone.

3.       Why don’t you move to where there are more eligible bachelors?

Are you referring to an actual place in America? Or in a utopian piece of literature?

The truth is, I’m happy. Honestly. I’m not pulling your leg — my fingers aren’t crossed behind my back because they’re too busy balancing a mountain of Christmas cookies.

While I’m thankful you’re praying God will put the right man into my life — and soon (I’m still not quite sure how to interpret that) — I’m pretty sure God knows what He’s doing with me.

Right now, I’m single.

And right now, I’m loving every minute of it.

I’m not living like marriage is my end goal, like it’s the only reason God put me on this earth. I’m here to know Him and to make Him known — in my workplace, in my friendships, in laughter, in writing, and in utilizing my gifts and talents. He has me in my current job, city, apartment, church, sphere of influence, and relationship status for a reason.

I’m content right where He has me.

(Isn’t that all that matters anyway?)

So let’s talk about other things — important things — like how many cookies you think I could shove in my mouth at once. And how Christ alone completes me. And what He’s doing in my life.

Speaking of important things and Christ, rumor has it that it’s His birthday.